Sunday, October 10, 2004


I've been thinking about possibilities. I dwell a lot on the future and all it's attendant dangers. I also dwell a lot on the past and all the shitty things that have happened. What I don't think about is all the possibilities in the past.

I'm really good at seeing the negative in everything, a trait that doesn't make me happy. But I've just realized that the past is full of missed catastrophes. Of all the things I've worried about a stupendous majority of them haven't happened. I like to think that I'm reasonably realistic in my concerns. I don't waste much time worrying about invasion by carnivorous aliens for example. So here I sit, healthy and happy and I realize that I'm so very lucky to be that way. If the world is as dire as I imagine it to be then every day should be a victory celebration.

This is a convoluted route to get to an appreciation of life, but hey, I've got a convoluted brain.

I've said for years that I want to be able to create music that has joy in it. I'm really good at writing about the trials of life, some would call it whining. I think I've just taken a real step in the direction I want to go.

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